The Poetry Club Meet & Experience
The above poem was written a day before I, for the first time, attended The Poetry Club, Mumbai. And it was waiting to be written for just such an occasion.
With my second part of the five part Salt of the Earth series being self published this year, I do want to work upon my grammar and language. This and a certain connection I made via my about.me page, led me to take this step. I had been planning to attend it since last year when I stumbled across it, but just couldn’t find the time to do so.
I was third in the line to recite my poem. I was as nervouse as a school girl going out on her first date. My pronouciation sucked. But, I had fun! Unfortunately, I had to leave abruptly due to normal existential crises back home. But I did love all that I heard and saw.
The concept of T.P.C, Mumbai is to call on poets of all kinds and ask them to recite their poem(s). Then ask others to give feedback to each poet, after the recital. I am not a very good critique when it comes to giving any kind of feedback where anyone’s poems are concerned. The reason for this two pronged.
- I still feel I have a lot to learn where poetry is concerned.
- The best poems are unchanged and unworked upon. More often than not, poems are an extension of someone’s feeling(s) about whatever it is they are feeling for/of. This got confirmed today for me, and within the first few minutes of being there I could hear feelings imbibed within words. As such, poems never should be changed or “worked upon” consciously. Feedback is good only when someone is seeking it in terms of grammar / language. Feedback should also be given in terms of style(s) of poetry, and what can you do about improving your writing style without changing the way you express a feeling or describe an image. For this to happen each poem needs to be broken down, the whole image to be reduced to the most basic elements (set of pixels if I may) and this will take time which I doubt we had or will have at the meet. I would’nt want to give feedback where semantics of expression(s) are concerned. This is a very personal point of view and thus wouldn’t agree with a lot of people, but that’s who I am and this is what I feel about poetry.
Feedback I received:
As for the feedback I got, it was lovely to know what I was doing wrong when telling my story in four stanzas.
- I was too fast in reading out my poem: Yes, I was. I realized it later and I will work on this. As I mentioned above, I was way too nervous. I was under the impression I wouldn’t be because I have been a professor/faculty for over two years and it did be just like giving a lecture. But I completely forgot about the fact that this time it’s something I don’t know much about and in turn made it sound like a lecture.
- I need to look up while reciting my poem(s) and speak with more expression(s) that show ownership: Guitly as charged. This also I will attribute to me being nervous. I will be working on this.
- I use complex/complicated words: I used to. My first critique/feedback was from someone totally unknown to me, who I am contacted via my about.me page. Based on her suggestion I have improved a lot and reading back what I have written and read, at the most I have used about 4 complex words and all those are for carrying that feeling of what they describe in context, for conveying the weight of those feelings. I think I am pretty okay here.
- I need to shorten my sentences: This is true, but I love long sentences. When you put a mixture of too many feelings in words, it becomes very difficult not to express or shorten the sentences in such a way that the expression of feeling is left unfinished. I have already started on this before I got a feedback on this. I write more Haikus. The thoughtes 3 lines I will every write or have written.
I did like to thank everyone for having me at this TPC meet and for the valuable feedback. Looking forward to the next time.